What they don’t tell you when you have a miscarriage

They don’t tell you that the moment you find out, you convince yourself that the ultrasound tech and doctor are wrong and they could find the heartbeat again if they tried hard enough.

They don’t tell you that you might not be able to call your husband to tell him what happened, because speaking the words would make it way too real.

They don’t tell you that you will likely go over every single decision you made during your pregnancy to try and figure out what you did wrong to cause this.

They don’t tell you that it will take a long time to believe everyone who said you didn’t do anything to cause this.

They don’t tell you that people will constantly ask you if you’re going to try again and that someone may even say, “but you ended it on such a bad note, so are you sure you don’t want to try again?”

They don’t tell you that sometimes you will want to scream that that was your baby and having another baby doesn’t just erase him/her.

They don’t tell you that you will wonder if it’s wrong to be so sad because everyone tells you, “it happens to so many people” like having your appendix removed or something. And that people will ask how far along you were and jump at the chance to tell you about someone else who was further along when it happened as if the span of time makes the loss any less of a loss.

They don’t tell you that you will then feel bad for getting so angry because people just don’t know what to say and don’t mean any harm by any of the comments; they just want you to feel better.

They don’t tell you that you will feel guilty when you talk about your kids, but don’t mention your angel baby. Sometimes you decide it’s better to just let it go so you don’t make anyone else uncomfortable, but know in your heart what you would have said.

They don’t tell you that you become a part of this club that nobody wanted to join. A club where you can find comfort knowing you’re not alone. A club filled with some who struggle in silence and some who talk about it every chance they get. A club where nobody has to say a word and everyone understands exactly how you feel.

And they don’t tell you that this is your new normal and you will find your own way, in your own time to honor your little one and yourself, even if that means writing a blog for others to relate to or even learn from.

Today, on Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day, may we remember & honor all of our angel babies and all the mamas who continue living with a piece of their heart missing!

Photo by Cassie Rosch

In light of a conversation we had about all the choices we have daily, we CHOSE to whip up a little freebie to encourage kindness in every day situations. We want to make sure you don’t miss out on downloading, printing, and doing good needs anywhere and everywhere. So click on the image below and be intentional about doing things in and out of your comfort zone where humanity is concerned. You might be surprised by how much doing for others will do for YOU. Download your FREEBIE here!

While you’re performing your acts of kindness, don’t forget to document and share to inspire others! Tag @everydaykind and use hashtag #everydaykind

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When I’m losing my mother tasking mind…

When I’m losing my mother tasking mind…

Back to school is my least favorite time of year! I am mourning the end of my favorite season and basically on a fast track to my kids leaving me for college…in 12ish years. I don’t like one bit of it; as shown by the pile of school forms on my counter that have yet to be filled out. (I’ve been in denial, what can I say) I also decided that this week we should REALLY, OFFICIALLY start/finish potty training the little one, and let me tell you, after having the easiest time with my first, I mistakenly thought it would be a breeze. I should have known my stubborn little man would make it as painful as possible on me. These factors followed by a not so fun work week and an awful forecast for our last fun summer weekend left me losing my mothertasking mind. I felt my Apple watch buzz and looked down and it said, “BREATHE”! And because Apple somehow knows everything about you at all times, I trusted the recommendation and took a deep breath. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Breathing should be easy because we do it all day, every day. I mean, it’s what keeps us alive and all right? What I didn’t know is how important breathing can really be mentally and emotionally. When I first started yoga, I went for the exercise part of it. I was pleasantly surprised when I found that breathing was such a huge part of it and left me feeling so good mentally, as well as physically. When we breathe unconsciously it is controlled by the medulla oblongata. (I never thought I would use those words after 7th grade science class.) However, when we consciously breathe we stimulate the cerebral cortex and more evolved areas of our brain which have a relaxing/balancing effect on our emotions. Who would have thought?! Maybe I should have paid more attention in science class. Well, in and just after yoga class I felt great and wanted that feeling all the time. I started practicing in other scenarios and it truly resets me! It lets all my other thoughts, stresses and distractions pass by and keeps me present and finding calm when I am at my most frazzled.

So when your newborn won’t stop crying, you’re in an argument with your significant other, your toddler is pushing every button of yours, everything at work seems to go wrong, you’re stuck in awful traffic, etc…use all these opportunities to take a moment and just BREATHE! In through your nose and out through your mouth. Let your lungs fill up and let the slightest bit of calm wash over you so you can refocus on the situation with a clear head! It seems so simple, but we know it’s not. We’ve all been there when anger takes control and we look back regretting how we reacted to certain situations. We yelled at our kids, we misjudged a driver on the highway, we wasted a good date night with our spouse because “being right” was more important than being nice. It happens all the time, which is why we think this reminder is SO important. Sometimes it just takes a little (or a lot of) practice! Just breathe. I promise we’ll all feel better after!

xo, CB

BREATHE_EverykindBREATHE Sweatshirt – Everykind

Keep the change.

Keep the change.

Change. What do you think about when you hear the word “change”. For a lot of people, change is scary because technically, if there is change coming, there is a sense of the unknown. So why is the unknown so scary? Well being that we are neither psychologists or psychiatrists or educated in anything related to this topic, all we have are deductions made from personal life experiences.  Why not just dive right in?!

Today, as a society, we tend to want everything when we want it, and we usually want it FAST. We want x amount of likes on Instagram in 5 minutes. We want our Amazon order delivered the same or next day, even if we just ordered something we don’t NEED at ALL, let alone in a hurry. We want our cake, and we want to eat it too. Then we want to freeze it and think about it from time to time in it’s frozen state. We like knowing that it’s there, when we are ready, to thaw it out and eat it again. (I don’t actually know if this is a thing that you can do or if it would be fresh or delicious, but just go with it.)

I often think about something my mom said to me when I got my first place. It was an amazing place, and I knew how lucky I was to live there, but I got caught up in wishing and hoping and dreaming about what I wish I had rather than just LIVING there. One day my mom said to me, “If you had all the things you are saying you wish you had… what would you have to look forward to?” And gosh darn it. My mom didn’t go to college but is the wisest person in the WORLD. Of course! I would have nothing to dream about and nothing to work for if I had everything I wanted. And the more I thought about, everything I HAD then were things that I wished I had when I was dreaming of life after college. Instant gratification is not ALWAYS the most gratifying. Real GOOD life changing change comes from hard work, being grateful for the lessons you learn and allowing yourself to “keep the change.”

You probably feel like you are sitting next to your dad at a ball game when he tells the cotton candy man to “keep the change” right now, don’t you? And actually, that is something we should talk about. Because in giving, we receive. And in receiving, we feel happy! But that isn’t really where this is going. When we say “keep the change” we mean… change is coming. It is inevitable. It happens EVERY day. Sometimes the change is small. Sometimes you push yourself in Yoga to hit that pose you haven’t quite mastered, and you feel that overwhelming sense of accomplishment when you finally nail it and your body SEES the change you’ve been working so hard toward. Sometimes you make a change by giving something up, like say, biting your finger nails. And you are so darn proud when you look down and see your freshly painted nails because, 1: they look REALLY pretty (and make you FEEL pretty, too!) and 2: You believe that you are capable of doing anything you really want to do. Sometimes change flat out sucks. Like maybe your life is hit by a tornado and what seems like a never ending storm. Maybe you lose someone you love, or maybe you love someone and lose yourself. But if we have learned one thing on this journey to changing the world with kindness, it’s that rain can be ignored. And the rainbow that follows is 100 times more glorious than any rain shower, anyway. And on the flip side… dancing in the rain can actually be pretty fun. It’s all about perspective.

In closing, we see you, we feel you, and we want you to know that it is OK to be afraid OF change. Just don’t be afraid TO change. Keep the change. Make small positive changes and watch the beauty of your life become brighter and even more beautiful. And if you care to right click and save the image below, feel free to spread the positivity on Instagram or Facebook. Never hold back from doing something or sharing something that might help someone. Words have a lot of power. And sometimes they inspire people to take action that might better themselves. ♡

xoxo

CS

positivechange

You Fit Here

You Fit Here

Four years ago, when we started this wild adventure, we had absolutely no idea where we would go (or quite frankly what we were doing! At all). We were just 2 moms who loved Starbucks (CB) and Diet Coke (CS) with big dreams for ourselves and high hopes for our kids. So we started a business. I mean why not?! We were buying shirts for our kids with funny/sassy messages on them, and we decided maybe it was time to create ones with inspiring, kind messages instead. Something we would be proud to put them in, and words that might help us reach our best parental potential. We created Mama Said Tees with the intent of spreading kindness across the hearts of our children, and hopefully others! The immediate response to our little company that could was overwhelming (in the BEST way), and we knew we were headed in the right direction.

Over the past four years, we have succeeded, we have failed, we have had some not so great ideas and we’ve had some ideas SO outstanding they were copied in BIG BOX retail stores! We have learned so much about ourselves and have taught each other along the way how to be business owners literally from the ground up. There have been times that we have been so frustrated we have wanted to stop pressing forward, but something has always kept us going…and that is you, and the difference we know we are making in this world with your help. So many things can happen in four years. We have met the most amazing people which have turned into forever friendships. We have gained the most unbelievably loyal customers who we are forever indebted to. And we have read/heard heartfelt stories that have stopped us in our tracks. It’s these shared stories that have helped us realize the true impact that we can have on the world. We cannot thank every one of you enough for helping us get to where we are today.

So here we are four years later. CB still LOOOOVES her Starbucks, but CS ditched Diet Coke. A lot has changed (we started with a total of THREE kids and 1 furry baby and now we have SEVEN kids and the same furry baby!) What started as a small t-shirt company has been built into a brand we are proud to call ours, and we know it’s time that our name reflects who we have become. Mama Said Tees is still a part of us; it will always be the foundation for what we build. We are not saying goodbye to Mama Said Tees, because we are still US…but it’s time to say hello to EVERYKIND: a space where every single person fits and feels welcome.

We want the world to be a better place, we want our messages to reach far and wide, and we want to help all of those around us. We see the good in the world, but we also know there is some bad…so why not change that with a little bit of kindness? We’re ready to write the next chapter and to see where the next forty years take us! We have BIG plans for EVERYKIND. The sky is the limit and we are so excited for all of you to join us for the ride!

xo, C&C

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Everybody is Different (Different is Normal)

Everybody is Different (Different is Normal)

We are so honored to share this blog, written by the fabulous Katie Crenshaw. We have “known” Katie for about 2 years, and are so proud to work alongside her to celebrate our differences and give back to an amazing foundation. Enjoy and… be kind!

April 30, 2018

As Charlie nears her third birthday, I can’t help but think about the journey we’ve been on with her hemangioma. Not the hemangioma itself, but the emotional journey we have taken as her parents and advocates. While she is still too little to notice much of anything about her outward appearance, we have never hesitated to instill wisdom in her and the people around her. I’ve written open letters to the public, imploring society to shift their ideas of beauty and normalcy.

I never miss an opportunity to tell Charlie she’s smart. I tell her she’s funny. I tell her she’s kind and special and valuable. I tell her she’s beautiful. The handful times she has mentioned her “pink cheek” I tell her it’s super pretty and cool. Then, I might tell her in that same conversation that Lincoln’s brown eyes are cool, too. Or maybe, “Look! My huge pink stretch marks from having three babies are cool.” Or “Guess what else? every single person in our house and in the world has something unique about them that is beautiful and important”

Differences aren’t sad. Differences aren’t negative. The only thing that perpetuates negativity, is the idea in some parts of our culture that “differences” are something to feel sorry about. If the conversation changed, maybe, eventually, kids wouldn’t even pick on other kids for their “differences”. Imagine a world where it wouldn’t be anything other than celebrated.

I get asked a lot, “What’s the best way to respond if my child is curious about Charlie’s face?”

I always say the same thing. It’s beautiful to be curious. Don’t be sad for her. Don’t be scared of her. Keep the conversation going that everyone is different and different is normal. There’s not a prototype. We are all exactly who we are meant to be and we ALL have things, inside and out that make us special- and that IS normal.


Tomorrow is the first day of May, which kicks off Hemangioma Awareness Month. I’m thrilled to announce a project in collaboration with Mama Said Tees. In honor of their 2-Year Anniversary of their #LetsRedefineNormal campaign, they are releasing a brand new tee shirt design, shown on Charlie.

Everybody is Different | Different is Normal T-Shirt

For the entire month of May, 20% of ALL sales will go toward the Vascular Birthmark Foundation. I adore this mama-owned small shop and have been working with them for two years. I strongly believe in their mission of changing the world through adorable tees with a clever design and a powerful message. Take a look at their shop and support a cause close to our hearts.

Remember, “different” isn’t the exception to the rule; “different” IS the rule.