I just thought you should know…

I just thought you should know…

Our “I just thought you should know” cards are back! With FALL flair 🙂

Click here to download /// Print /// Put in people’s mailboxes, stick in someone’s purse, or leave behind for someone who goes above and beyond the call of duty. One thing we should NEVER do is suppress a kind or generous thought. What are you waiting for?!

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What they don’t tell you when you have a miscarriage

They don’t tell you that the moment you find out, you convince yourself that the ultrasound tech and doctor are wrong and they could find the heartbeat again if they tried hard enough.

They don’t tell you that you might not be able to call your husband to tell him what happened, because speaking the words would make it way too real.

They don’t tell you that you will likely go over every single decision you made during your pregnancy to try and figure out what you did wrong to cause this.

They don’t tell you that it will take a long time to believe everyone who said you didn’t do anything to cause this.

They don’t tell you that people will constantly ask you if you’re going to try again and that someone may even say, “but you ended it on such a bad note, so are you sure you don’t want to try again?”

They don’t tell you that sometimes you will want to scream that that was your baby and having another baby doesn’t just erase him/her.

They don’t tell you that you will wonder if it’s wrong to be so sad because everyone tells you, “it happens to so many people” like having your appendix removed or something. And that people will ask how far along you were and jump at the chance to tell you about someone else who was further along when it happened as if the span of time makes the loss any less of a loss.

They don’t tell you that you will then feel bad for getting so angry because people just don’t know what to say and don’t mean any harm by any of the comments; they just want you to feel better.

They don’t tell you that you will feel guilty when you talk about your kids, but don’t mention your angel baby. Sometimes you decide it’s better to just let it go so you don’t make anyone else uncomfortable, but know in your heart what you would have said.

They don’t tell you that you become a part of this club that nobody wanted to join. A club where you can find comfort knowing you’re not alone. A club filled with some who struggle in silence and some who talk about it every chance they get. A club where nobody has to say a word and everyone understands exactly how you feel.

And they don’t tell you that this is your new normal and you will find your own way, in your own time to honor your little one and yourself, even if that means writing a blog for others to relate to or even learn from.

Today, on Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day, may we remember & honor all of our angel babies and all the mamas who continue living with a piece of their heart missing!

Photo by Cassie Rosch

In My Sister’s Shoes

In My Sister’s Shoes

I have the honor each and every day of filling my sisters’ shoes, both physically and metaphorically. When she died 4+ years ago I inherited her tennis shoes, and for a while they sat up on a shelf in our boys’ room. That is until I needed new shoes and decided that she would much rather me wear hers than for them to collect dust and be a reminder that she is no longer wearing them. So. I snagged them. They are a smidge big, but super comfortable. And I couldn’t love them more. Metaphorically, her shoes are also a little big, but I know that I was made to wear them. And life is… as good as it can be… in these shoes.

Throughout my childhood and even today, it was/is not uncommon for the age gap between my sisters and I to get brought up. I usually get the “Wow! 10 and 14 years older?! Were you an accident?!” reaction.  And even though I know that my parents never considered me to be an accident, I also know that they weren’t exactly planning on me either. Accident or not, I am certain that God had big plans for me. And it wasn’t until something REALLY bad happened that I was able to see and even understand the bigger picture.

Without sounding like a broken record, I feel obligated to lay down my back story incase you happen to be new here. On July 27, 2014, my sister Shannon was shot and killed by her ex-husband, who then turned the gun on himself and died, too. This horrific and unthinkable act of violence took place in my parent’s home… in front of their two sons and my mom and dad. Six days prior to losing Shannon and David, we lost our cousin Zachary to a drug overdose. I gave the eulogy at my beloved baby cousin’s funeral and hugged Shannon goodbye for what would be the last time on July 24th. I never expected that losing my sister… my best friend… would provide ways for me to live a better, more fulfilling life, but it has. Because she died, I have found a new purpose for living. I know now that anything can happen in the blink of an eye, and that is why I spend all of my “spare time” helping to build a company that spreads kindness in her honor.

Sometimes I feel guilty for finding so many reasons to be happy in spite of not being able to share my happiness with Shannon. She was, as I mentioned above, my BEST friend. But she was so much more than that. She was my #1 fan, my biggest supporter, a 2nd mother, and my sister. In the early days of losing her I didn’t think I would ever be able to smile again, let alone raise her boys and my kids and look at the glass half full (which was an inside joke between she and I) and be the version of her little “Co Co Puff” she loved so dearly. But I have made the choice that I have no choice. I am now “mother” to her sons, Connor and Danny, and to my 3 babies. I often wonder and ponder and question and second guess parenting decisions based on what I think she might have done. The most painful grief finds me when I least expect it to, and more often than not, it’s when she is the ONLY person who would know what to say or do to make everything better, but I can’t turn to her. But on a “normal” day to day basis, I don’t have time to stop and think about what I lost, because the truth is I have gained SO MUCH. And also. I am really, really busy. (HA!)

We say that happiness lies in perspective, and I believe this to be so true. I have discovered that just because I find reasons to be grateful in the wake of Shannon’s absence doesn’t mean that I miss her any less. I have to make a conscious effort to be kind every day and live my life in a “pair of shoes” that are a little big for me, but that I love because they were hers and because I was MADE to wear them. Shannon’s boys are MY boys now, and I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Today is Shannon’s birthday. My mom went over the river, through the woods, to every party supply store and clear to a rainbow to make our birthdays special growing up. This is perhaps why her birthday stings so much. She would be 45, and that is hard for me to swallow. I literally am having a hard time swallowing without choking back tears and missing her reaction to the super thoughtful and creative cards I made for her every year on her birthday. But I feel proud knowing that she would be proud of everything I am doing as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a sister, a friend and a kindness pusher. And because I was HER biggest fan… that means more to me than anything.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Shannon. You are in our hearts and on our minds always. I love you more than diet coke, which is why I gave it up just to prove that since you didn’t get to have it anymore, I didn’t need it either. Now send me that sign. I could really use it today.Untitled-9

iloveyoutwotimes.blogspot.com — For those of you who would like to take a trip down Shannon’s memory lane, I am sharing her blog. It didn’t reach many people back in the day, and so this is my way of letting people in on the magic of who she was, and who she will forever be in all of our hearts. She was always looking on the bright side. She was always finding things to be grateful for. And her heart was so filled with love it seems unfair that her bright light was put out so soon. But not TOO soon. Because I believe it was her time. And I believe that she is with me every single day. Which is why I strive to live “Every Day Kind”… to make her proud.

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In light of a conversation we had about all the choices we have daily, we CHOSE to whip up a little freebie to encourage kindness in every day situations. We want to make sure you don’t miss out on downloading, printing, and doing good needs anywhere and everywhere. So click on the image below and be intentional about doing things in and out of your comfort zone where humanity is concerned. You might be surprised by how much doing for others will do for YOU. Download your FREEBIE here!

While you’re performing your acts of kindness, don’t forget to document and share to inspire others! Tag @everydaykind and use hashtag #everydaykind

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Love, Peace, EVERYKIND

CHOICE
noun
  • 1. an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.

Take a moment to think about all the endless choices we make every single day. We choose what time to wake up, what to do when we wake up, what to drink and consume after we’re awake, and so on and so forth. It’s often easy to overlook all of the choices we make because they are a constant part of our lives.  However, one thing we should REALLY start paying attention to is our choice to BE KIND: to choose love, to choose peace and to treat everyone as equals. We are presented with situations and opportunities all day long, but often times we are too busy to pay attention to what a difference a small act can make. We have the choice to hold the door for a struggling mom, to ask how someone is doing, to offer a helping hand. We also have the choice to act out of anger in situations that bring out the worst in us. Choosing kindness is not always easy, but when we understand that the ability to choose how we handle the weather that ruined our pretty picnic is in our hands, we might remember to pack an umbrella more often.

A few weeks ago we were working on a design for “follow your heart” and we really liked it, but something just wasn’t quite working.  Then we were talking about perspective, and mindset and what else…. how we have the ability to choose kind. And then…. we took the design for what we HAD been working on, plugged in the concept to the word “choose”, texted screen shots back and forth for about 10 minutes with revisions/suggestions/”try this” until….BAM. CHOOSE love, peace and EVERYKIND was born! This is typically how our design process works since we are long distance and collaborate on everything, but this time, we were EXTRA pumped. Any time we can combine fun colors, cute graphics and a powerful message, we feel ready to change the world. We posted the design as a graphic because patience is not always our strong suit, and were blown away by how many comments and DM’s we got about putting it on a shirt!

When we say that we couldn’t do all of this without you, we mean it. Your input is invaluable to us, and it helps us avoid shying away from things just because we aren’t 100% sure that they are perfect. You bring out the best in what we have to offer as business partners, business owners, designers and creators. So… thank you. This tee will be available for adults on a grey crew neck and v-neck tee THIS FRIDAY (9/28)! Stay tuned!

Choose Adult T-Shirt _ Everykind

When I’m losing my mother tasking mind…

When I’m losing my mother tasking mind…

Back to school is my least favorite time of year! I am mourning the end of my favorite season and basically on a fast track to my kids leaving me for college…in 12ish years. I don’t like one bit of it; as shown by the pile of school forms on my counter that have yet to be filled out. (I’ve been in denial, what can I say) I also decided that this week we should REALLY, OFFICIALLY start/finish potty training the little one, and let me tell you, after having the easiest time with my first, I mistakenly thought it would be a breeze. I should have known my stubborn little man would make it as painful as possible on me. These factors followed by a not so fun work week and an awful forecast for our last fun summer weekend left me losing my mothertasking mind. I felt my Apple watch buzz and looked down and it said, “BREATHE”! And because Apple somehow knows everything about you at all times, I trusted the recommendation and took a deep breath. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Breathing should be easy because we do it all day, every day. I mean, it’s what keeps us alive and all right? What I didn’t know is how important breathing can really be mentally and emotionally. When I first started yoga, I went for the exercise part of it. I was pleasantly surprised when I found that breathing was such a huge part of it and left me feeling so good mentally, as well as physically. When we breathe unconsciously it is controlled by the medulla oblongata. (I never thought I would use those words after 7th grade science class.) However, when we consciously breathe we stimulate the cerebral cortex and more evolved areas of our brain which have a relaxing/balancing effect on our emotions. Who would have thought?! Maybe I should have paid more attention in science class. Well, in and just after yoga class I felt great and wanted that feeling all the time. I started practicing in other scenarios and it truly resets me! It lets all my other thoughts, stresses and distractions pass by and keeps me present and finding calm when I am at my most frazzled.

So when your newborn won’t stop crying, you’re in an argument with your significant other, your toddler is pushing every button of yours, everything at work seems to go wrong, you’re stuck in awful traffic, etc…use all these opportunities to take a moment and just BREATHE! In through your nose and out through your mouth. Let your lungs fill up and let the slightest bit of calm wash over you so you can refocus on the situation with a clear head! It seems so simple, but we know it’s not. We’ve all been there when anger takes control and we look back regretting how we reacted to certain situations. We yelled at our kids, we misjudged a driver on the highway, we wasted a good date night with our spouse because “being right” was more important than being nice. It happens all the time, which is why we think this reminder is SO important. Sometimes it just takes a little (or a lot of) practice! Just breathe. I promise we’ll all feel better after!

xo, CB

BREATHE_EverykindBREATHE Sweatshirt – Everykind